Inspiration from GLSEN Respect Awards 2012: Joe Manganiello, Matthew Bommer and His Partner

Matt Bomer at GLSEN Respect Awards 2012

People in the world need to wake up and see in terms of equality and putting an end to the bullying epidemic and making sure that every family is respected in our schools and our society.

Imagine, when you aren't allowed to speak about who you are, one of the most authentic parts of who you are, which is who you love or is who you're attracted to, feels invisible.

Matt Bomer & Simon Halls at GLSEN Respect Awards 2012

"Having kids teaches you so many things, and one of the things we both have learned in our parenting journey is how loving and accepting and open children's minds and hearts are. Unfortunately, in some parts of the country, some kids are taught at an early age that being different is somehow bad or wrong or worthy of ridicule. Kids aren't born to be bullies, they're taught to be bullies." – Simon Halls

As Mrs. Christina Aguilera said, “If I wear a mask, I can fool the world, but I cannot fool my heart.” Wait, I just realize that Aguilera’s Reflection song has such profound meaning that it can be more than just Mulan soundtrack. I think this song could be the best choice for the GLSEN theme song ;)

"Look at me; you may think you see who I really am. But you'll never know me. Every day, it's as if I play a part. Now I see, if I wear a mask, I can fool the world but I cannot fool my heart.

Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside?

I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart and what I believe in. But somehow, I will show the world what's inside my heart and be loved for who I am.

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time? When will my reflection show who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly that burns with a need to know the reason why.

Why must we all conceal what we think, how we feel? Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time. When will my reflection show who I am inside? When will my reflection show who I am inside?"

Matt Bomer and Simon Halls with Joe Manganiello who presented Inspiration Award to them

And also, as Perez Hilton wrote: “We can't wait to see a day where burdens like homophobia, racism, and sexism are no longer bred from fear. We know humanity's heart is a caring one naturally. And we wanna see it beat with as much compassion as it can!

Source: http://perezhilton.com/2012-10-06-joe-manganiello-matt-bomer-simon-halls-glsen-respect-awards-2012#.UHTaH9mXXMA

Combining Different Communication Styles to Build Effective Communication Skills

There are 3 styles of communication human usually used in their social interaction. 

1. Passive communication: Communication style used by someone who only follows, obeys, or agrees to other person statements without giving proper response to those statements (one-way communication). 
2. Assertive communication: Two-way communication that allows both parties to convey their opinions and responds to each others opinion in order to achieve win-win solutions.
3. Aggressive communication: Communication style used by someone who is forcing his personal opinion without giving chance for the other persons to convey their opinions or considering others opinions (one-way communication).

Each communication model can be easily described by following tag lines.

• Passive: You step on me
• Assertive: Both are protected
• Aggressive: I step on you

This table below summarizes characteristic for each communication style.

	Passive	Assertive	Aggressive
Words	Yes sir; Okay, I will, mom; Indeed you’re right;	That’s a good idea, but what do you think if …?; What’s your view about this?; Any opinion?; Are you okay with it?;	No, you can’t …; Yeah, but …; The point is, you must …; I don’t care; You are such <bad judgment>;
Body Language	Head down; Leaning back; Eyes lack of focus, avoid direct eye-contact; Less expressive; Talk quietly; Nodding; Hands are attached to body, stiff, try to close and protect personal space;	Hand movement is dynamic; Open posture, not-defensive; Eyes pay attention to the speaker; Leaning towards speaker, still in safe social distance; Expressive; Smile, once in a while; Sympathetic touch (body contact);	Pointing; Invade someone space; Intimidating stare; Intimidating face expression; High intonation;
Way of Thinking	Feel of inferior (in terms of position, age, expertise, power)	Open- minded; Empathetic; Sympathetic;	Feel of superior; Do not want to be troubled anymore;

This table below summarizes advantage and disadvantage of each communication style.

	Passive	Assertive	Aggressive
Advantages	Short communication time; Place you in safe or comfort zone;	Win-win solution; Everybody’s satisfied and happy;	Short communication time; Statements/instructions are more clearly stated and conveyed; Can draw more attention;
Disadvantages	Personal opinion or interest cannot be channeled properly; Lead to resentments; Can be driven by others;	Communication time tends to be longer;	Can lead to conflict; Lead to resentments;

Assertive communication style is often regarded as the best communication style because each party channels opinions properly and strives to find a win-win solution. However, in reality, assertive communication cannot be used at all times, in all situations and conditions. Sometimes passive and aggressive communication styles are more effective to use than the assertive. This of course depends on the circumstances that are going on. It requires skills of individuals to determine appropriate communication styles to be used in certain conditions. It's recommended that You can use assertive communication as your primary style of communication. The combination these three communication styles is required in order to build effective communication skills.

Illustration: 

• When one is dealing with people who are more superior to him, such as the CEO or the president, he chose to use passive communication because he wants the speaker feels respected and he can stay in safe zone. 
• When someone wants to borrow money to his friend in an emergency, he would choose to passively agree with his friend’s requirements of because he’s afraid change his mind and doesn’t want to lend his money. 
• When the contractor has not completed the task that has been assigned a month ago, and already instructed on good terms for several times, a supervisor chose to use aggressive communication so that the contractor will feel bad and finish the task immediately. 
• When her friend had not paid off her debts and been late for almost a year, a person chooses to collect debts aggressively.